Staving Off Old Age

At 46 years old, it seems silly to be considering old age. But, subtle hints of my impending frailty constantly poke their heads around corners in my day-to-day existence.

• eyesight - at Kate's insistence, I have taken advantage of the optometrist benefit offered by her company's health coverage and went for an eye-exam. Although I still have 20/20 vision, I admitted to my optometrist that after 8 - 10 hours of sitting in front of a computer, my eyes do get tired and I focus on the screen only with some effort. She recommended a set of ultra-low prescription "working and reading" glasses that now sit on my nightstand.
• recovery time - I am used to exercising hard, falling into bed exhausted, then bouncing back to fully-charged energy levels first thing the next day. I am finding I don't make it back to 100% the next day after a particularly hard day of skiing/climbing/running/cycling.
• body aches - I find my back is a little stiffer than it has been, and I need to spend more time stretching. This is after (and possibly because of) doing nothing more than sitting at my desk. My knees are noisier (cricking and cracking) and my legs don't have the same amount of spring to bound up stairs two at a time whenever I climb a flight.
• eating habits - due to worsening eczema, I've gone to a naturopath to find a fix to my skin troubles, and she's advised me to alter my diet. No dairy, no refined sugar, no yeast (meaning no baked goods or bread - egads!), and no tropical fruit. Basically, I'm not allowed to eat anything I like. We'll see how long I can stick to that diet and whether it actually fixes me up.
  

In the past five years I have noticed how much my father has slowed down and it troubles me. He has become a shell of the man I used to know, although taking some of the vinegar out of such an inherently angry man is not all bad. I look at what he has become and know that we must all end up dependent, but I hope to hold off my slide into that state for three or four more decades, at least.

Is This Helping?

Part of what I do as work involves an opportunity to give back to society. I call it my "Ability To Pay" Rate Scale.

Companies get charged the full, going rate. Likewise with people that live in starter castles in Springbank. Home trouble calls get a slightly gentler tally of the bill, based on the perceived expense of the neighborhood and furniture, and if I'm offered a beverage while I'm working. Non-profits get charged a much-under-market rate. Seniors (such as my beloved Nazi-transvestite-senior citizen, Walter) get charged a dignity-saving nominal fee, like $20 and a little, individually-wrapped chocolate from the bowl on the coffee table. Family and friends are encouraged to think kind thoughts or write me more substantially into their will.

Then, every once in a while, I make an exception to The Scale.

On Wednesday, I received a call from gravelly, sounded-like-he'd-smoked-too-much-in-his-life Dave, who claimed he couldn't "see" the Internet. He had recently got the computer from the Drop-in Centre and tried to describe to me what was (or wasn't) happening, but without much success. I quickly summed that I wasn't going to be able to help Dave without a visit. When I told Dave this, he told me he wouldn't be able to pay me right away as he wasn't getting a paycheque "until next week". When he told me where he was living (a run-down apartment in the inner city), I suspected that I was going to be working for free if I went to help him. I was feeling the need to build up some good karma, so I decided to help Dave.

I went to Dave's very-rough-looking place of residence - an uncleaned, cigarette-butt-filled one room rental which contained furniture that imagined (I later had this confimred) had been salvaged from the alley after other tenants had done their worst to them. It was here that I found, on a wobbly Ikea workdesk, his 10 year-old Windows XP box that was (indeed) FUBARed. As I proceeded to reinstall his operating system (about a 2 hour operation), I had a chance to chat with Dave and learned a bit of his history.

• Dave's trade is painting, and although Calgary is booming he has been unable to hold a job as of late (confirming my suspicion that I might be working for free that day).
• Dave has the Full Meal Deal with regards to Telus' internet and TV options. He pays $120 a month (about twice what I pay my internet and TV provider) and admitted he was a few months behind in his payments.
• When Dave signed a 3 year contract for the Telus internet subscription, he had been provided with a brand new laptop. Why then (I asked) was I repairing a 10+ year old XP machine? It seems that shortly after Dave got the laptop, he had a few friends over for drinks a few weeks ago and those friends had brought friends of their own. At some point in the evening Dave went out on the balcony for a smoke, he came back to find that the laptop was no longer sitting happily on the coffee table. One of the guests' guests had taken off with the laptop. He called Telus and asked them to GPS-track it, as he was sure all laptops had that technology built in. When they told him they weren't able to do that, he gave up trying to find it. He hasn't file a police report because the person who took it he suspected was a crackhead and would just trade the laptop for a hit.
• When Dave originally got his machine from the Drop-in Centre (for free), it worked. When I asked him why it has stopped working, he admitted he had been pretty drunk last night and had "deleted some stuff from the computer," but he couldn't remember what.

So here I was, 3/4 through getting this guy's computer back up and running, which I assumed he would use for some noble task like trying to better himself or find work. Instead, I realized that if I got the computer working and Dave didn't go on a binge tonight and delete critical files again, it would be only a matter of days before one of Dave's drinking buddies noticed he had electronics that worked (besides his 13" TV) and steal it out of his apartment.

I felt like I was wasting my time. Dave had been given things before and didn't have a good track record of taking care of them.

I did end up staying and providing Dave with a working machine. If I am doing good deeds like this, do you, gentle reader, think I should help the next "Dave" that calls, or find a better outlet for my kindness?

Beliot College 2011 Freshman list

The Mindset List was created at Beloit College in 1998 to reflect the world view of entering first year students. The list gets updated every year. This is the reality of first year students entering University in the fall of 2011.

• "What Berlin wall?"
• Humvees, minus the artillery, have always been available to the public.
• They never “rolled down” a car window.
• They have grown up with bottled water.
• General Motors has always been working on an electric car.Nelson
• Mandela has always been free and a force in South Africa.
• Rap music has always been mainstream.
• “Off the hook” has never had anything to do with a telephone.
• Russia has always had a multi-party political system.
• Women have always been police chiefs in major cities.
• They were born before Bart Simpson existed.
• No one has ever been able to sit down comfortably to a meal of “liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.”
• Being “lame” has to do with being dumb or inarticulate, not disabled.
• Multigrain chips have always provided healthful junk food.
• They grew up in Wayne’s World.
• U2 has always been more than a spy plane.
• The first time they saw Jack Nicholson, he was “The Joker.”
• They have no idea whey there are "No Smoking" signs on airplanes, because it has never been allowed on North American airplanes.
• “Google” has always been a verb.
• Bar codes have always been on everything, from library cards and snail mail to retail items.
• Carbon copies are oddities found in their grandparents' attics.
• Disneyland has always been in Europe and Asia.
• Acura, Lexus, and Infiniti have always been luxury cars of choice.
• Disposable contact lenses have always been available.
• When their parents say, “Don’t touch that dial,” they have no idea what dial is being referred to.
• Stadiums, rock tours and sporting events have always had corporate names.
• American rock groups have always appeared in Moscow.
• Commercial product placements have been the norm in films and on TV.
• Their parents are the same age or older than Lenny Kravitz, Kathie Lee and Frank Gifford.
• Fox has always been a major network.
• The “Blue Man Group” has always been everywhere.
• Women’s studies majors have always been offered on campus.
• Being a latchkey kid has never been a big deal.
• They learned about JFK from Oliver Stone and Malcolm X from Spike Lee.
• High definition television has always been available.
• Microbreweries have always been ubiquitous.
• Smoking has never been allowed in public spaces in France.
• Time has always worked with Warner.
• Tiananmen Square is a 2008 Olympics venue, not the scene of a massacre.
• The purchase of ivory has always been banned.MTV has never featured music videos.
• They’ve never known a time without cell phones.
• They never saw Johnny Carson live on television.
• Avatars have nothing to do with Hindu deities.
• The World Wide Web has been an online tool since they were born.
• They have always known Burma as Myanmar.
• Dilbert has always been ridiculing cubicle culture.
• Food packaging has always included nutritional labeling.
• “Yadda, yadda, yadda” has always come in handy to make long stories short.
• Video games have always had ratings.
• Women have always been Venusians; men, Martians.
• Chicken soup has always been soul food.
• The Rocky Horror Picture Show has always been available on TV.
• Jimmy Carter has only ever been a smiling elderly man who shows up on TV to promote fair elections and disaster relief.
• They would never have seen a Sears catalog delivered to the house.

Feel old now?

Goodbye Snowball

Last October, we found out that our cat's kidneys had failed. We were told by the vet that she wouldn't get better from this, but with medication, she would be more comfortable and live another 6 months to maybe two years. About three to four weeks ago, she stopped eating pretty much anything, which meant that she didn't get half of the medicine that we mixed into her food. We watched her lose about 30% of her body weight and get more and more listless. She was sleeping more, becoming dehydrated (no matter how much water she drank) and was losing hair. Last week, another trip to the vet confirmed what we thought - she had reached the end of her time and her body was shutting down.

This morning, I noticed that she couldn't even make it downstairs to the litter box (stumbling when she tried to decend the 3 steps to a landing). It was time. I took her into the vet this morning and she travelled quietly, even when we got into the exam room. She was ready to go. While she and I were waiting for the vet to come back into our exam room, I was petting her and she mustered enough energy to do some of her distinctive barely-perceptable purring. What a dear, sweet animal.

She was a remarkable cat, winning over the hearts of many non-cat people - Kate and her farmer father, included. She tolerated more child-love (read: rough handling and ungainly carrying) than most cats would put up with. She's been dressed, bathed, carried in boxes, tormented by laser pointer dots and dangling strings. We even found that she could be trained, learning to sit and rear up (like a meerkat) on command. Thanks for your time with us, Snowball, Critter, Cat. You'll be remembered fondly.

How Much More Macho Is There?

This Saturday, I'm doing something hard. I'm gonna ride up a mountain, over and over, in the mud and sometimes the dark, over stumps and roots and rocks and logs, through trees and across streams, with bear warnings clearly posted at the entrance to the area where the race is taking place. I'm going to sweat, and swear, and grind, and groan, and chug uphill until my calves and quads scream. I'll likely wipe out, over and over, bruising and scraping and possibly cutting up legs and arms.

It's a world-class, 24-hour-long event with over 10,000 competitors (87% of which are testosterone-charged young men). There are five of us on our team, taking turns riding, getting almost enough sleep, pushing through fatigue to do our best, and the one thing that is inspiring us to give it our all - our reason for this sacrifice is summed up in our team moniker.

The Five Cupcakes.

Characters

The Cosmos must have a more-important-than-usual message for me right now. This past week has seen me meeting three very unique characters.

First, I met a 91 year old man who, within 15 minutes of meeting me, revealed that:

• he had been raised in an orphanage for the first five years of his life
  
• he had been a soldier in WWII as a Nazi under Hitler
  
• he was now a proud Canadian
  
• he has donated blood over 50 times
  
• he is a practicing cross-dresser and transvestite
  
• has a book about his life written by a Calgary ghost writer.

He turned out to be one of the most interesting, lively, young-beyond-his-years and genuinely happy people I have met in a long time.

Secondly, I met a woman in her late forties/early fifties of great material wealth, but who was living in such paranoia and exuding anxiety to such a degree that everyone around her (including several house staff that she has at her beck and call for much of the day) was living in a state of fear.

Lastly, this evening, I spent some one-on-one time with a man who I have known for some time. This man is unique in that:

• he spends the majority of his free time with his charity that promotes picking up litter, not using drugs and participating in sports (mountain biking in particular)
  
• is a race announcer
  
• has almost completed the process of legally changing his name to Crazy Larry

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be picking up from these folks, but I've enjoyed getting glimpses into some very interesting lives.

Reunion

I had the greatest time this weekend, hanging out with my mom's family and Banana. We went to Langley, BC, for semi-decadal (that's every fifth year) Key Family picnic.

Five years is enough time for family members to change and gather some stories to keep you entertained. I had found I had graduated from 'active parenting' (cutting meat, slathering my child with sunscreen, keeping her entertained/out of harm's way) to the Elders' Circle that sips the beverage of their choice, feet in the kiddie pool and watches with bemusement as the Active Parents do their thing.

I was also very proud of my daughter as she mingled with her kin, finding them all to be funny, witty and entertaining (which they are, in their own ways). I was happy to spend some time with my cousin and her new baby. I am fully aware of how much energy it takes to be the parent of a toddler and am soooo glad that it is her and Tom that are starting on that journey and not me.

I'm watching Banana make plans to leave the nest. Vancouver is a likely landing spot. She identifies with the bohemian lifestyle (all the good and bad parts) and sees herself fitting in with the Commercial Drive crowd. We spent some time riding the train system there and an afternoon on The Drive. If she can afford the rent there, I'm sure she'll be happy.